Love and Lost
by herimaginaryworld9128
Summary: Rachel Berry hid a secret all her life, for fifteen years. The only person who knows about what's going inside her home is her boyfriend Finn Hudson. Each time she asks about her mother, the more it gets worse. She finds herself ringing the door bell of her mother's apartment after running away from home on a cold Winter night.
1. Chapter 1

**I thought I wasn't going to be writing this story but you guys liked it and I've put it back :) **

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><p><strong>Love and Lost: <strong>Rachel Berry hid a secret all her life, for fifteen years. The only person who knows about what's going inside her home is her boyfriend Finn Hudson. Each time she asks about her mother, the more it gets worse. She finds herself ringing the door bell of her mother's apartment after running away from home on a cold Winter night.

**Chapter 1:**

Rachel Berry got out of her hot bubble bath. She wraps herself around with a towel and sat in the bathroom. She isn't sure how long she stayed in her bathtub but she knew it's the only way she can escape from her fathers. Her fathers, LeRoy and Hiram Berry. She didn't want to deal with them. Not right now. Not ever but she does. No one really knows what they do to her, well except her boyfriend Finn Hudson. The quarterback of the football team, the popular guy in school found out because Rachel has called him late night and started sobbing. All she wanted was for him to to her and be wrapped in his arms.

She's thankful she has somebody to love when her fathers never love her. Sometimes she's confused why Finn would want to be with her. She's nothing special. That's what Leroy and Hiram always told her.

LeRoy and Hiram weren't always like this to Rachel. In fact, she can remember how vicious they've become. She was five. Her fathers were late from work to pick her up from school. She started seeing all boys and girls getting picked up by their moms. Rachel was the only one. She cried the whole way home. Her fathers tried to stop her but she didn't stop until she dropped her school bag on the floor by the door. She suddenly asked why she doesn't have a mommy and all the other kids do. She asked if she she has one. She threw a tantrum when she realized she's not going to get an answer.

And that was Rachel's first time out. LeRoy grabbed the girl by the arm and bought her to the corner. He yelled at her, but didn't lay a hand.

After that, she no longer asked about her mother until she was ten. Her fifth grade teacher gave an assignment to write about your family. Your mom, dad, brother, sister, and anyone you'd like. Rachel struggled since she didn't want to write about her dads. Not after the way they treat her. So she asked her fathers what her mommy is like. She wasn't able to get any information so she decided she couldn't do the assignment. The teacher took her aside and told her she has failed this essay. She was sent home with a letter that needed to be signed. Her fathers were not happy at all and grounded her for three days. Not only was she was grounded, but she was hit as well. She went to school the next day with a bruise by her eye.

Everyone worried about her. They were even terrified themselves to find out what was going on with the little girl.

At twelve she met Finn Hudson who moved next door. They became friendly and his mother Carole Hudson has been the nicest woman she's ever known. Rachel was often home by herself and would come there every day. She watched Finn play videogames, laughed whenever he lost, and the two of them helped Carole bake homemade brownies. She went upstairs to the bathroom since she had to go and started to scream. Carole ran after her, since she almost had a heart attack. She asked Rachel what was wrong and Carole knew right there and then what happened. Rachel Berry, has entered puberty. She became a woman. Carole explained to her she has gotten her period.

She gave her pads and showed her how to use them. She warned her it would happen every month and her stomach will hurt. Rachel only nodded and felt tears coming from her eyes. Carole gave her a hug. Rachel gladly accepted it.

Her teenage years were a struggle for the Berry men. Rachel has two important goals in her life.

To be on Broadway.

To find her mother.

How is she going to reach her goals when her father's throw words at her. Hurtful words that brings her down. That makes her feel insecure.

After all these years of asking about her mom, she still has no idea about anything. It's only up to her to find out. She'll have to find a way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

After rubbing smooth circles on Rachel's back and comforting her with encouraging words Finn felt she has slowly calmed down. She picked her head up from his lap. She was tired of crying. She was done. Finn was confused when he saw Rachel grabbing suitcases and throwing clothes onto her bed.

Finn quickly sat up. "What are you doing?" He asked observing Rachel.

"Running away." Rachel replied. "I'm not staying here anymore!"

"Rachel-there are better ways to solve this. Tell someone." Finn says trying not to get frustrated with Rachel about doing the wrong thing.

"So my dad's can hit me more? Abuse me? So they can make me cry myself to sleep every night? I'm not telling anyone. I'm running away!" She said folding clothes and putting them in her suitcase.

Finn closed his eyes. He wished he can stop his girlfriend. His heart has never stopped hurting from the minute he found out. Why didn't he know any sooner? Why did she have to hide a secret from him? He could of rescued her. He could of told his mother the situation going on with Rachel and the Berry's. They've could f done something, anything.

Instead he saw himself as a failure. Rachel was running away from her problems. It's something he never wanted to see her do. "I asked about was who my mother is-like I always do. You know what they told me?" She asked. Finn shook his head. "My mother doesn't love me. She never wanted me. She said I was a mistake. And I told my father's it's a mistake to be living with them!' She was yelling.

She was angry.

"They pushed me and hit me seven times. It's not the first time they've done this." She was now crying hysterically. "Please, I beg of you not to tell anyone.." She said not facing her boyfriend.

"But Rachel-" Finn cleared his throat. "You live next door to me. Your dads are going to wonder where you are..."

Rachel wiped her tears and shook her head. "Do you love me?" She asked sobbing.

"What? Yes of course I do!" Finn cried getting up. He gently placed his hand on Rachel's arms.

"You'd do anything for me?" She asked.

"Rachel I-"

"Take me to this address." Rachel took out a piece of paper from her pocket. She tracked down her mother. The name and the address before Finn got to her house. "Take me."

Finn took the paper and read the address. He sighed. He knows this isn't the right thing to do. He grabs his car keys. "When you're ready." He gave Rachel time.

She finished packing. She carefully made sure her dads were fast asleep. The two of them sneaked out of the house. Finn started his SUV and drove two thirty in the morning

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><p>She ran away two days ago. She said her goodbye to Finn and thanked him for everything. She promised it isn't a break up. She hopes he can still see her without any of the parents knowing. She remembers everything.<p>

_She and Finn arrived at the address after a four hour drive. It was cold. She was shivering and waiting for the right moment. Her boyfriend didn't drive away until she rang that doorbell. When she ran the bell, it was like looking at her older self in the future. Standing in front of her, the woman had the same eyes, the same brunette hair, and the nose._

_The woman being her mother. Rachel can tell the older woman is speechless herself. She tries to stop herself from choking up. "I'm so-s-sorry for showing up at your door this late. I'm..I'm you're..."_

_"My daughter.." Rachel saw the woman mouthing those two meaningful words. "I'm Rachel Berry. I'm your daughter." It wasn't Rachel who started to cry. It was her mom. Shelby Corcoran. For sixteen years she wondered who her daughter is, what she's like, if she sings, if she dance, and if she looks like her. For sixteen years she has always regretted giving Rachel up._

_Now she's here. "H-Ho-honey, what..What are you doing here?" Shelby asked. She could of think of something completely different to say, out of all things. Why did she ask such a question? She should sound happy for being reunited. _

_"I said I was sorry." Rachel couldn't stay strong. She broke down into tears. "I'm cold. I have nowhere to go." She said crying. Shelby nods and allows Rachel inside her home._

_That night has changed the lives for the both of them. Rachel told her the very next morning the whole story, including her dads. Shelby's heart crushed into million pieces._

Shelby has been aware of everything going on in Rachel's life. She knows she's a vegan, has a boyfriend, and only one mother figure. "You're not going to tell my dad's right? They're my past. I'm done with them." Rachel said as she and Shelby drinks tea together in front of the fireplace. Shelby puts her cup down and touches Rachel's hand for comfort. "Running away from your problems isn't the best thing to do. I wish you would tell someone."

"My boyfriend knows. I'm pretty sure he told Carole because I haven't been home for two days. It's not like my dad's care.." Rachel sighs heavily. "I'm with you now."

"I know you're with me, honey..but we still need to figure this out."

"Figure what out? I'm happy now." Rachel confessed closing her eyes. "Please don't make me go back." Rachel cries. Shelby puts a hand on her heart. Her poor fragile daughter is confessing all her feelings after living a horrible life.

Here, Shelby thought her daughter had two loving fathers. The fathers who gave her everything and love. That's what the Berry's promised Shelby on her birthday. They'll take care of her, give her love, and shelter.

They gave Rachel none of that. Shelby has all the anger in the world towards LeRoy and Hiram Berry. "I can't make any promises." Shelby quietly responds.

"Mommy..." Rachel begs and pleads. Shelby was never ready to be called 'Mommy' and she admitted her daughter was so adorable calling her that for the first very time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The new room meant everything to Rachel. Shelby let Rachel go crazy on how she wanted her room to look like. She choose a queen size bed, yellow for the walls, and had some golden stars hung. She had the name Rachel in baby pink above her bed.

"I love it. I love everything about it! It's-it's me!" Rachel said. She threw herself on her bed. Shelby laughed at her dramatic daughter. "I'm glad you like it."

"Can I sleep here tonight?" Rachel asked.

"I don't see why not. It's yours." Shelby smiles.

"In my old house, my room was tiny, only white walls, and it was so dull. I never liked staying in there but you know it was best if I did." Rachel sat up. She sighed sadly.

Shelby sat next to her daughter. "Oh, honey.." She says wrapping her arms around Rachel. "This is yours to keep. This is yours to love."

"You promise?" Rachel asked resting her head on Shelby's chest.

"Pinky promise." Shelby says lifting up her pinky. It made Rachel giggle but she lifted up her pinky as well. "Go get up and take a shower. We have family to meet during dinner."

"Family?" Rachel had confusion written all over her face.

"My family. My mom, my dad, my two brothers , and an older sister, you're our nieces, and nephews.." Rachel looked away from her mom. Shelby smoothed Rachel's back. "Hey, what's the matter?"

"I-I..They're not going to like me." Rachel held back her tears. "My dad's never did.."

What in the world is her daughter talking about? Of course her family is going to like her. Rachel was wrong. "That's not true. My mom and dad know about you. They are wonderful people, wonderful grandparents. My sister and brothers are the nicest people you'll ever meet. Don't be nervous, okay? I won't leave you. You'll always be by my side."

"Okay." Rachel looks at her mom and nods her little head. "Can you help me pick out an outfit?" She asked.

"Of course I will." Shelby says hugging her daughter. "I'll see you downstairs." Shelby said patting her little girl's adorable cheeks.

Rachel stares at herself in the mirror. She was nervous, mostly scared. She has just met her mom. And her mom loves her to death. But she needs to get her mom's family to like her. She fears if she doesn't, her mom would no longer love her.  
>_<p>

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><p>Juliet and Thomas Corcoran were the most happiest and wonderful people anyone's ever met. They're friendly and everyone in the neighborhood knows them. They're parents to four beautiful children, and seven grandchildren. They have a Sunday tradition where the two would lead a family dinner, fun, drinks, and games.<p>

The Sunday tradition was never boring. They were both really excited to meet Rachel but also worried for Shelby after knowing the story. Shelby and Rachel were greeted by seven children. Shelby was hugged and tackled by all of them.

"Aunty Shelby!" They all screamed. "Woah my little rugrats!" She laughs and gives all seven hugs and kisses. After greeting her, they ran back into the playroom. Shelby noticed how timid Rachel. She was clingy, which she understood why. Her mom, Juliet came by to greet them.

"Is this Rachel? She looks so much like you, Shel!" Juliet said as she hugs Shelby. "It's okay, sweetheart. It's Granny." Shelby said kissing Rachel on the cheek.

"You're beautiful." Juliet smiles as she hesitates to hug Rachel who was wearing flats, a black low cut dress, with a light blue headband. She doesn't want to scare her away completely. "Thomas! Come and meet your new granddaughter!" Juliet yelled from the living room.

An older looking guy entered the living room. "Shel!" He says hugging his daughter and wrapping his arms around her. "It's so good to see you."

"Good to see you too dad." Shelby responds kissing his cheek.

"How are you? How's work?" Thomas asked concerned.

"Busy. It's not easy teaching those Vocal Adrenaline kids." Shelby said shaking her head. If anyone asked her if she loves her job, she'll say she does. She loves teaching at Carmel High School but sometimes coaching can be a little tough. She is never easy on her students.

Juliet clears her throat. "This is Rachel. Isn't she beautiful?" Juliet asked pulling the girl closer to her. Rachel didn't know what to do but smile.

Thomas gives Rachel a hug. "Look just like your mother." He paused and smiled. "Dinner's almost ready." He announced and left the three behind.

All Rachel kept thinking about if this is how it's going to be then she wished she didn't have to feel so awkward.

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><p>Rachel has met everyone. Her mom's family is so big she's afraid she won't be able to remember her names. She started testing herself if she can refresh her memory.<p>

_Let's see, there are Uncle Matt, and Uncle Bobby. They're mom's older brothers. There's Aunt Maria, and Aunt Lauren. Aunt Mary is Uncle Matt's wife and Aunt Lauren is Uncle Bobby's wife. Then there are her cousins. Uncle Matt and Aunt Maria have three children, five-year old Kelly, four -year old Aiden, and two-year old Isabelle. Uncle Bobby and Aunt Lauren have two children, six year old Michael, and three-year old Joshua. Let's not forget about mom's older sister Annie. She's married to Jonathan and they have twins! Two -year old fraternal twins Nathan and Madelyn. Did I forget anyone? No..Good. _ Rachel drifted away from her thoughts when her Uncle Bobby called out her name.

"Rachel? Would you like some dessert?" Her Uncle Bobby asked.

"Yes please." Rachel made sure she had her manners all night.

"Rachie, can you please dress up with me?" Kelly asked her older cousin.

"Dress up? Ew! That's for girls!" Her cousin Michael cried.

"WE are girls stupid!" Kelly spits out her tongue at Michael.

"Michael! Kelly! That's enough from you two." Rachel watched as her Aunt Lauren raised her voice gently at the young children. "But I want Rachie to play action figures with me, Aunty Lauren!" Michael sighed heavily, upset about not getting his way.

Rachel glanced at her mom for help. Maybe she wouldn't need help this time. "I can play dress up and action figures. It's not a problem." Rachel smiles.

"Yah!" Michael cheers happily. Rachel was glad she solved a problem herself. Her Aunt Annie smiles at Rachel. "So, Rachel? How's school going? You're fourteen, so you're a freshmen?" She asked.

"Yes Au-Ann-" Annie figured the girl was stuttering. She realized the girl didn't know what to call her. "Please call me Aunt Annie." Annie says. Rachel nods. "I'm fourteen. I'm a freshman and school is okay. I have a boyfriend." She says.

Kelly looks at her mom, Maria. "Can I have boyfriend?" She asked.

"No!" Maria says.

"Absolutely not." Matt agreed with his wife. Kelly shrugs her shoulder. "He makes me happy when my fathers.." Rachel blinked several times. This is supposed to be a happy family moment. Why was she ruining it for everyone? "I'm.. I need to use the bathroom."

"Upstairs to the left." Juliet announced where the bathroom was. Rachel nods and quickly left the room. "The poor angel." Juliet had her hands buried in her face. "Did you know?"

"No. Not until she showed up at my door." Shelby announced. "Okay, kids. Let's go play now!" Matt suggested knowing it was an appropriate time for adults to have a talk.

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><p>Shelby knew she promised not to leave her daughter's side but her cousins dragged her into the playroom. Shelby whispered in her ear saying it's okay., Instead, Shelby helped with the dishes. It was only her parents and Annie.<p>

She and Annie have always been the closets. The sisters knew whenever when one was upset. Annie will never forget the time when she was there for Shelby. Shelby came to her door crying after giving up her daughter for adoption. No matter what happens, the Corcoran girls always have each other' s backs.

"So she showed up at your door?" Annie asked.

"Yes." Shelby said quietly. "I knew from the moment I looked at her."

"Shel princess, she ran away from her home. From abusive fathers. How horrible were those men?!" Thomas asked angrily.

"She ran away from home. That answers your question. I am so angry at them. Screw them for causing so much of my daughter's pain. Sometimes I feel like this is all my fault for giving Rachel up!' Shelby stopped doing the dishes before she broke any of her mother's favorite plates. "I should of kept her!" Shelby then collapsed and broke down in tears.

She was comforted by Juliet, then Annie, and then Thomas. "Ssh baby. 's not your fault. You weren't ready to be a mom." Juliet held her emotional daughter as she let go of her father and big sister.

"Mom..." Shelby sobbed into Juliet's arms. Juliet whispered encouraging words in Shelby's ear.

"I'm not letting go of Rachel ever again." She said in between her sobs.

Annie glanced at her dad, worried about her sister. Has she been bottling all this up? Shelby knows keeping everything inside of her is not the best thing to do. She has tried to stay strong for Rachel but she couldn't hold it in any longer.

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><p>The night has ended. Rachel and Shelby left. The ride home was silent. Shelby was looking straight at the rude. "Mom?" Rachel broke the silence. The truth? She was worried about her mom. She heard her mom sobbing from the other room.<p>

She hasn't seen it but hearing her mom being so upset is like having your heart shattered into pieces. "I...I.."

"I love you Rachel. I want you to know that." Shelby suddenly spoke.

"I love you too. I know you love me." Rachel said quietly.

"I'm your mom. You're my daughter. That's the way it's going to be."

"Mom, I know." Rachel smiles. "I like your family. My cousins are cute, my grandparents are sweet, and my aunts and uncles are nice." She says. "Thank you for today."

"You're welcome, sweet-pea." Shelby pulled into the parking lot. At first she's confused since someone parked in front of their house.

The mother and daughter got out of the car. They were both frightened by the voice of two angry man. "Rachel Barbra Berry.." Rachel knew who the voice belonged too. She didn't d are to look back.

LeRoy and Hiram Berry.

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><p><strong>I thought it be nice to add in Shelby's family! Rachel sure does have a lot of aunts, uncles, and cute little cousins! We'll see more of them in later chapters! But why are the Berry's there?! Read and review to find out more!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Shelby came in front of Rachel protecting her. The terrified teen felt her body shaking as she realizes she's a few steps away from LeRoy and Hiram.

"I thought we told you about your mom? Why are you with her?!" LeRoy screams in anger pointing to Shelby.

"I think you know why. You know the reason. Rachel is here with me because I'm her mother. I love her. And I will protect her." Shelby spoke up glaring at the two men.

"She has ten minutes to come back to us or else she's going to..." Hiram was cut off.

"Going to what? Get hit? Get hurt by you two? You will not lay your hands on her!" Shelby shouted. She turns around. "Rachel baby, quickly get inside." Rachel didn't want to go pass her father's but she knew she should listen to her mother.

She ran to get inside the home making sure LeRoy and Hiram didn't hurt her. "You have ten minutes to leave my house before I call the police.."

"She's still in so much trouble for running away from home! Let's go LeRoy." Hiram says. He and LeRoy glare back at Shelby and gets into their car. She waits until they leave and runs back inside the house to only find Rachel hugging a pillow close to her and crying.

Rachel moved away as her mother came close to her. "Oh baby. I'm so sorry. You're safe now. I won't let them get anywhere near you." Shelby says convincingly. "Rachel? Baby.."

"Mommy, hold me." Rachel cries. Shelby doesn't argue with the girl and holds her daughter in her arms protectively. "I love you." She whispers into Rachel's ears as she clings onto her. She hums a song to Rachel until she has slowly calmed down.

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><p>Rachel remained clingy to Shelby the past couple of days. Shelby understood and didn't mind at all. She wondered if Rachel would like the idea of having a girls day. It'll be just her and Rachel. No one else. She figured they could go out shopping, get their nails done, and eat some pizza.<p>

She smiles as she enters Rachel's room who's writing in her journal. "Knock knock, can I come in?" She asked

"Yes." Rachel smiles and closes her journal. "You're silly."

"Why am I silly?" Shelby asked sitting on Rachel's bed.

"Because you don't have to ask to come in my room." Rachel laughed. It felt so good to hear Rachel laugh after what happened to her fathers. "You're my mom." She said.

"I'll keep that in mind." Shelby says. She clears her throat. "I've been thinking, maybe we can have a girls day? Shopping, get our nails done, and grab some pizza? My treat..." Shelby waits patiently for a response. She worries about the reason why it took Rachel so long to give her answer.

"I'd love too but...I...I don't have any money. My dad's they give me money to buy things on my own. What I need and what I want. They...they never treated me." Rachel was nervous. She hated thinking of the idea that Shelby will spend money for her, She didn't want to be any trouble.

"Oh, sweetie." Shelby strokes Rachel's hair. "Don't worry about a thing. It's all on me, okay?" Rachel nods and hugs Shelby. "I'll go get ready." She said. She grabbed her outfit for the day and heads to the bathroom. Shelby decided this is the day to forget about everything.

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><p>The first thing the mother and daughter has done was their mani-pedicure. Shelby wanted light pink for her toe nails and light purple for her nails. Rachel wanted pink for all ten fingernails and toes. Rachel started to feel hungry so Shelby took them to Nino's Pizzeria. It's a place Shelby has gone to for a very long time.<p>

Shelby ordered a Margarita pizza and a vegan pie for Rachel. "This pizza is amazing! I'm glad our nails dried up quickly." Rachel laughed. "I can't believe this is my second slice."

"Isn't it?" Shelby smiles. "This is the only place I'll ever get pizza."

"I'm really having a fun time, Mom. Thank you." Shelby can't get over the huge smile on Rachel's face.

"And shopping, I really like animal sweaters, and I love poka-dots. And head bands." Shelby laughs as Rachel stops talking. She continues to chew her food.

For the first time, Shelby noticed her daughter's a real chatterbox. "Am I talking too much?"

"No. Always talk. That's what I'm here for, right?" Rachel nods. "Right." Shelby will always be there for Rachel.

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><p>Lunch ended with two big smiles. They were too full for dessert and headed straight to Target to see if Rachel will like anything there.<p>

Shelby braced herself. She isn't exactly sure what's it like to shop with a teenager. Rachel already had two dresses, four animal sweaters, and two skirts. Rachel was so excited to try them on and she did. Rachel and Shelby agreed everything looked amazing on her. "Can I get all of them? Please?" Rachel asked pouting.

"Of course you can." Shelby couldn't say no. "Are there any more stores you'd like to go too?"

"I think this is okay for now." Rachel smiles and hugs her mom standing on the line to pay. Rachel walked out with two bags. They headed out of the store and to their car.

"Today was fun. I really enjoyed my day." Rachel said.

"I'm glad you did. I had the best time with you, my daughter."

"Can we do this once and a while? Not all the time..." Rachel suggested.

"We sure can. Pick a day and a time."

"Okay, mom." Rachel gave her mom a smile. Shelby noticed the smile faded away when Rachel looked down at her phone. "What's the matter, baby?"

Rachel shrugs her shoulders. She's mentioned him twice and she really doesn't want to upset her mother that she misses someone. "Mom? I want to talk to you later."

"That's fine with me." Shelby responds worriedly and hurries to rush home.

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><p>It was almost dinner time. Shelby was preparing the meal while she and Rachel sat down to have some tea. Rachel hasn't said a word about what upset her.<p>

"I..I..miss my boyfriend. Finn." Rachel whispered. "I definitely can't see him because he was my next door neighbor.. I just want to see him."

"Baby, is that why you're so upset? You can talk to me about anything and everything." Shelby looks over at Rachel. "What's his name?"

"Finn. Finn Hudson. He's the quarterback of the football team. He really cares about me and he loves me. We haven't seen each other since I ran away." Rachel paused. "The only way I can see him is if he comes here. And I'm scared if I ask you, you'll be mad." Rachel confessed. Shelby stopped what she was doing. She comes by Rachel and stokes her arms.

"I could never be mad at you. I want you to be happy, always around me. If you want to invite your boyfriend over, that's totally fine. Don't ever be afraid to talk to me." She hugs the tiny girl. Rachel nods. "His mom was like a second mother to me. But you're my first." Rachel tends to smile, not wanting to hurt Shelby's feelings.

And Shelby will always be Rachel's first. No matter what.


End file.
